That would be AT&T. They are raising my rates by $15.00 per month. Several of my friends are switching over to DSL and filing nasty letters to AT&T. Can’t say that I blame them.

Here is what I’m a-gonna do:

They will be charging me a large amount of money for a service which, in my opinion, should be less expensive that it currently is. Therefore, for the increased fee, I will become the Bastard- Customer- From- Hell. From now on, AT&T gets exactly 0% slack from me. Every time I get less that 100k/second, even if I am connected to a teletype machine, AT&T will get a stupendously vile email from me. Power outage? I better God Damn still be online. My cable is cut? I better God Damn still be online. AT&T goes out of business? Still goddamn online. End of western civilization? Still online.

I am paying more, therefore I will demand more. AT&T has no say in this. I am merely playing by rules they set up. I demand absolute perfection in this service. I will not switch providers. I will hound the support desk, mid-level leeches management, marketroids and owners to make sure that even if the Earth falls into the sun, for what I am paying, ATT will ensure I do not lose my connection for so much as a nanosecond. AT&T is now my $60.95/month beeyotch.

And no I will not add cable TV in order to keep my current broadband rates. The reason everyone is switching to satellite is that AT&T cable TV sucks. I will not be strong-armed by a company which I am paying to be my beeyotch.