Report From the Field

FROM: Special Agents J and V
TO: COW-INT-SEC Headquarters
RE: Infiltration of Bovistan Underground Resistance Movement (BURM)

The following is the field report of our attempt to infiltrate the Bovistan Underground, beginning with Insertion, April 19, 2003.

We arrived in Springport, Michigan at 5:30 pm on April 19. Per regulations we immediately checked in with the permanent staff (codenames “M” and “D”). After brief updates we prepared our equipment and headed to the local population center of the Bovistan Diaspora.

Agent V initiated contact and was quickly accepted into this close-knit society. Because of my lack of subtlety with the language there were a few touchy moments at my introduction, but with V attesting to my character all rough spots were quickly smoothed and I made my entrance into this simple, industrious society.


Bovistan appeared to be an idyllic community, bordering on the utopian. The government, though Aparthied, appears to float between Communism and Socialism. In return for their labour, the citizens are provided with free health care, free child care, ample leisure time, and practically zero interference from the government. In fact, it seems the only structure of any kind which the government places on the Bovistan citizens is a tightly controlled border. Even this was not as bad as it sounds, for there was one tourist from a neighboring community freely intermingling with the citizens.

Upon closer examination we realized that there was a strong separatist element within the community, with plans of a possibly violent secession within days. V, being the more capable of us, met with a member of the resistance and set up a meeting with the leaders of the movement


According to the sources close to V, Bovistan is divided into two camps: the collaborators and the resistance. The collaborators are content to take handouts from the Aparthied government, enduring exteme forms of eugenics, and eventually succumbing to population control of the most draconian sort (c.f. ” Logan’s Run “). Any travel outside the boundaries of Bovistan is met with harsh punishment, which includes permanent house arrest and occasional internal exile. Repeat offenders are often executed. In return for obeying government directives, the population is provided with food, limited shelter, and some – tightly controlled – reproductive rights.

We felt that in the interests of international security we should meet with the leaders of the resistance, so, after much reassurance and a hefty bribe (see attached expense report), V’s contact gave us the location of a safe-house.


That night we traveled to what appeared to be an isolated house but which was, in fact, the headquarters of the separatist movement.


Security was extremely tight, as was to be expected. The Bovies were beyond paranoid, and made a show of torture implements which had been captured from members of the Aparthied government. There were no opportunities to slip away and gather “unofficial” information.


When they felt we were suitably cowed they gave us an impressively detail-free summary of their plan, to wit, a mass charge at the borders of Bovistan, using the massed population as its own shield. The slower, less agile bovvies would be captured or killed, while the more resourceful ones would escape to set up a government-in-exile, from which they planned to launch raids and terrorist attacks against the Aparthied government until equality was reached.

At this point collaborationist infiltrators revealed themselves and extreme hostilities broke out. Though injured, I escaped the safe-house and was captured by collaborators and taken to the goverment headquarters, where I was treated and released.


I regret to inform the council that Special Agent V was eaten by a counterrevolutionary.

Given that there are over 96 million members of the Bovistan Diaspora within the United States alone, I recommend we immediately begin arms production and consider a possible nuclear first-strike. Enough of our economy depends on the status quo that we cannot allow members of a foreign nation to gain any sort of global power which could disrupt our way of life.