Author: John Winkelman

The Last of Spring

John Winkelman

Book acquisitions in the week of June 13, 2021

The year is flying away, now that the days are long and the COVID vaccine behind me. I am slowly (sooo slowly) pulling myself out of my no-writing funk. Much to my surprise, increased human contact seems to be helping. I spent much of this past week out in the world, catching up with people I have not seen in a very long time. It was a wonderful experience, and the post-peopling hangover today reminds me why I don’t go out and socialize very often any more.

A small stack of reading material arrived at the Library of Winkelman Abbey over the course of the past week.

First up is the new issue of Granta, which includes a large collection of writing from young Spanish novelists. I have got into the habit of tossing new lit journals on the shelf as soon as they arrive at my house, but this one, I think, bears immediate reading.

Next up is a beautiful new novella from Silvia Moreno-Garcia, The Return of the Sorceress, published by Subterranean Press.

On the right is the latest arrival from my subscription to Apex Book Company, Desper Hollow by Elizabeth Massie.

I’m about 100 pages into The Cybernetic Hypothesis, and it seems to be losing its focus somewhat. Still quite informative and disturbing, but the ideas don’t seem to be as clearly defined as they were earlier in the text. I will still read to the end. Perhaps this is merely groundwork for the final parts of the books.

I am closing in on halfway through Son of a Liche by J. Zachary Pike. I really like this books! The writing isn’t quite as tight as the previous volume in the Dark Profit series, Orconomics, but as this book is twice as long as its predecessor, I can overlook the slower pace. It’s loads of fun!

In writing news, still nothing to report. I have a list of anthologies seeking themed submissions, and review it daily hoping for inspiration to strike, but when I have time free, instead of writing, I tend to take naps. I think my body is trying to tell me something.

Hot. So Hot.

John Winkelman

Books which arrived in the week of June 6, 2021

Feeling no energy this week, so this will be a short update.

The only new reading material to arrive this week was the new issue of Rain Taxi Review of Books, which inevitably leads to more books.

In reading news, I just finished Alix E. Harrow’s The Ten Thousand Doors of January. It was beautiful! Highly recommended for anyone who likes, for instance, Seanan McGuire‘s Wayward Children books, or Susanna Clarke‘s Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.

I am about halfway through The Cybernetic Hypothesis (Cybernetics is the study of systems of control, interaction, and feedback) and still find it disturbing in a way that feels like the corner of the modern world has been pulled up and what is found underneath is unwholesome and in a slow state of collapse. Which is of course the truth. See, for instance, *gestures at everything*.

And I have just pulled down from the shelf Son of a Liche, the sequel to J. Zachary Pike‘s wonderful Orconomics. Don’t know yet if I will read it right now, but it is sitting in front of me, ready to go.

In writing news, not much to report. Some day…

Restarting the Writing Habit

John Winkelman

Over the past two months my reading and writing habit has dwindled away to almost nothing. What free time I have, I tend to spend paying SimCity on my phone, instead of improving my craft. I have no specific reason for this change in behavior and routine, other than that, with my COVID shots, a certain tension released, and I think all of the stress and burnout which I had kept bottled up came to the surface and began to dissipate.

And that was exhausting.

But now we are in the beginning-to-middle of June and I have many things I wish to accomplish this year, writing-wise. I want to complete the first draft of the novel I started last year and abandoned in November. I want to start sending out poems for publication again. I want to polish up some short stories and send them out into the wild.

All of these goals take time, focus, and mental energy. And while I don’t have a lot of extra time in my days/weeks/months, I do have enough to do a fair amount of writing if I put my mind to it. I just have to put my mind to it.

There are also external factors. There always are. We are not perfectly spherical writers of uniform density in a vacuum. We are fragile and fallible. We are social animals, and those slings and arrows didn’t magically manifest out of nowhere. No matter how much we try to isolate ourselves from the world, the world still exists.

Behavior changes from higher energy expenditure to lower energy expenditure are a lot easier than going from low to high. But such changes follow the same framework. First get out of the habit of doing the old thing, then get into the habit of doing the new thing. This applies to any deliberate (-ish) change. Not doing a thing is not the same as doing something else.

So for me, in this circumstance, I am slowly getting out of the habit of not writing, and getting back into the habit of writing. To encourage this behavior I am transcribing the three dozen poems I wrote during National Poetry Month in April. I also plan to start actively taking notes on the books I am reading, as I am reading them, with the eventual goal of either posting the notes, or writing book reviews, or both. While these tasks are not the creative practice I wish to eventually return to, they are part of the craft of writing and use the same muscles.

Two months is not a lot of time as the crow lives, but it is enough time for atrophy and entropy to take their toll on unused neurons. I am 52, and almost certainly have more life behind me than I do ahead of me (although at least one close relative has lived to 99 years old…). While objective time is not moving any faster today than it did yesterday, I feel a subtle yet growing sense that time is a resource which is not to be squandered, and the sense of urgency I feel to get to work on things ironically saps my mental energy and makes it more difficult for me to get to work on things.

Thus the importance of habit and routine in this practice. I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to improve, or at least not backslide.

All of this takes work and attention.

Getting back into a habit is more work than maintaining the habit.

It’s Beginning to Look a Little Like Summer

John Winkelman

Books acquired in the week of May 30, 2020

The week off from work recharged my batteries somewhat, and I am back at my desk, writing and debugging code with a fresh sense of ennui. Seriously. The big take-away from my week off was the realization that I need more time off. Not that I have Things To Do (although I do), but I realize I am now fully in the emotional hangover stage of the last year (pandemic) and the last four years (Daddy-issues Donnie the mobbed-up white supremacist sexual predator in the White House). Because of the damage done, the world is still on a downward trajectory, but the angle for the moment is more gentle and may in the next few years level off at something which approaches stability, with a possibility of improving for whoever survives to 2030.

This was a good week for acquisitions for the Library at Winkelman Abbey.

First up is a pair of “best-of” anthologies I ordered from Coffin Bell right after they accepted my short story “Occupied Space.”  These books have been buried in the vaults of the USPS for months, and have finally made it to my doorstep. And they are beautiful! The editors at Coffin Bell produces some quality work, and I’m not just saying that because they published one of my stories.

On the right is the latest issue of The Paris Review. I really need to start reading these, or cancel my subscription.

In reading news, I am about 40 pages into The Cybernetic Hypothesis and already it is filling me with a subtle sense of dread. First published in France in September of 2001, the text feel prescient in the way in which it describes the ubiquity and inevitability of systems of control in all of the living spaces of the world. And as with everything else in the world, it is inevitable that such systems will be monetized. And twenty years later, these systems are so embedded in our cultures and societies that talking about them feels akin to talking about the weather.

I am a little over 100 pages in to The Ten Thousand Doors of January, and I absolutely love it. I will post more thoughts when I finish, probably around the middle of the month.

In writing news, I don’t have much to report. I jotted down a couple of story ideas, looking for ways I can write high-magic, secondary-world stories which deal with surveillance capitalism, cognitive capitalism, carceral capitalism, and the like. In other words, yeah, I probably need to narrow my focus a little.

The day is beautiful, slowly transitioning to scorching, and we have plans to cap my birthday weekend with oysters and Bloody Marys. Thank-you to everyone who posted birthday wishes on the various social media platforms. I have had a wonderful weekend.

52, or 2 x 2 x 13

John Winkelman

Me at 52

As of this morning, I have been out in the world for 52 years and a few hours. Actually I’m probably still asleep as this posts, as I usually schedule these things for the early hours of the morning, and this year my birthday falls on a Saturday. Of course I’m usually awake at 5:00, seven days a week thanks to the the two furry orange maniacs which have entered my life in the past year.

Poe and Pepper have been a constant source of attention and affection and stress relief in the COVID times. Zyra and I probably owe no small part of the health of our relationship to our cats, who have provided such entertainment while we endured the quarantine which is finally lifting.

Here at the beginning of June, most of the restrictions here in Michigan are lifted, and the remaining ones will likely be removed on July 1. One year and four months which changed the world in ways we will still be discovering a decade from now.

I have attempted in the past to write birthday posts, but being as close to my life as I am, it is difficult to form the necessary distance in order to write about it from the outside. The passage of time helps, but that means that I can only write about those events which have occurred between the bounding horizons of the moderately recent past, where subject slowly becomes object, and the event horizon of memory where I can no longer be sure the things I remember are the the things which happened, or things I invented to fill in the gaps. I am 52 years old. That’s a lot of lived experience, during much of which I wasn’t paying attention.

I have been with the same employer now for seven years. Ten, if you count my time at Cynergy before my current employer bought us, lock stock and barrel. Ten of my 22 years as a web developer. That is by far the longest I have been with a single employer. I have to say, as a middle-aged techie, stability is a Good Thing.

When I turned 51 I was nearing the middle of a crazy project which had me working second and third shift for two months, then a long and late first shift for two months. During springtime I was able to attend the martial arts class maybe twice. When we switched to first shift, which roughly coincided with the class moving to Wilcox Park after almost three months of meeting on Zoom, I felt my age. It has been a running theme among my tai chi classmates that, as we age, other people in our cohort seem so much older than we are. As I discovered, two months without regular sleep and regular exercise are all that stand between Us and Them.

With a more regular schedule I found more time to read and write and edit, and in October of 2020 one of my short stories was accepted for publication at Coffin Bell. The story was published in January 2021. This was a big deal for me, made even bigger by the fact that this was my first unsolicited piece of prose to be published. I have other publication credits, but they were solicited for specific publication. “Occupied Space” was the first to be rescued after being sent out into the wild.

I started my 51st year with profound sleep deprivation, an unemployed and injured girlfriend, extreme social anxiety, and a small orange cat. Here at the start of my 52nd year I am experiencing mild sleep deprivation, my girlfriend is busy starting her own company, I am vaccinated and therefore feel comfortable out in the world, and we have two small orange cats.

Oh: and in the past year Donald Trump, the conservative white supremacist sex predator, failed to be re-elected, like he has failed at everything else in his life except being a sexual predator and a white supremacist. I laugh out loud every time I pass a “Trump/Pence 2020” sign on my way to visit my parents. And since there is a lot of rural Michigan between here and there, I see a lot of those signs.

So 51 started low and improved steadily. If 52 continues the same trajectory the next year should be amazing.

IWSG, June 2021

John Winkelman

Welcome to the monthly Insecure Writer’s Support Group post. This month’s question is the following:

For how long do you shelve your first draft, before reading it and re-drafting? Is this dependent on your writing experience and the number of stories/books under your belt?

This is a complicated question to answer. A quick look through my archive shows that I have well over a hundred poems, three dozen short stories, partial or complete drafts of five novels, and a score or more of creative nonfiction pieces, essays, and research projects, all awaiting my attention. These works range in age from a couple of days to over three decades.

How long I shelve a draft depends entirely on the time I have available to revisit previous work and the level of energy I have when I have the time. Time and emotional energy do not often coincide, so a first draft which I complete at a furious pace may sit on my drive untouched and gathering virtual dust for years.

To date, I have published one short story and three poems. I completed the final draft of the short story three years after I wrote the first draft. The poems were about two years old when I sent them out into the wild. I sent each piece out to at least half a dozen magazines before they were accepted, and in some cases I subjected the piece to another round of edits after a rejection.

I don’t think writing experience plays into the amount of time a piece stays on the shelf. I have been writing off and on for thirty years, and I therefore have some pieces which have been gathering dust for thirty years. And I am not the same person I was when I wrote some of those older pieces. And the world is not the same as it was when I wrote stories and poems in response to specific events and ripples in the zeitgeist. A politically charged poem which was objectively good but very of-the-moment may never see the light of day again, unless events repeat themselves, or at least rhyme closely enough that the poem is meaningful again.

Currently I am editing a short story which started its life as a chapter from a literary fiction book I wrote during NaNoWriMo 2018. Three or four other chapters in that book could work as standalone short stories. And I still intend to complete and revise the book, so the work I do on the short stories derived therefrom will in turn benefit the completed text somewhere down the road.

I consider a backlog of shelved work to be a sign of a healthy writing habit. If an old piece is not worth revisiting, it can be considered a storehouse of ideas and memories which can be pulled out and remixed to create something new. But it is important to reread your old work from time to time. Doing so can put you mind in a place similar to where it was when you first created the work. It can remind you of what was going on in your life when you wrote the piece. And when you reread you can see how much you have progressed as a writer from the day you first put those words on paper. You can be your own inspiration.

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May 2021 Reading List

John Winkelman

Books I completed in May 2021

May was a slow month for reading. I received my second COVID shot on April 30, and with that, the emotional hangover of the past year hit me hard and took all the energy and motivation right out of me.

What this list lacks in breadth it makes up in depth. Each of the above books is 400+ pages, and even with my unusually slow reading pace I made it through the lot with time to spare. Each of them was a really good read, and I had not noticed until writing this post that they are each in a different genre. The Winter is fantasy, the Martine science fiction, and the Anderson is creative nonfiction. I recommend each of the books, and can say that I have not previously read anything like any of them. Of the three, I will be re-reading Imaginary Cities at some point, notebook in hand, as the text therein could easily present over a hundred writing prompts. It is that kind of book.

Like last month, I didn’t read any short fiction, and I feel kind of bad about that, as short fiction is primarily what I write. But with the changing of the seasons, and the COVID vaccinations behind me, I am ready to re-start my morning reading, writing and exercise routine which fell by the wayside precisely on May 1.

Books

  1. Winter, Evan, The Rage of Dragons (2021.05.09)
  2. Martine, Arkady, A Memory Called Empire (2021.05.25)
  3. Anderson, Darran – Imaginary Cities (2021.05.27)

A Week Off

John Winkelman

Books acquired in the week of May 23, 2021

I was on vacation for the past week which, thanks to COVID, meant I did largely what I do while working, except without the working part. I did take a good long walk on Monday, from my house near downtown Grand Rapids, all the way around Reed’s Lake and back home, with stops at Argos Book Shop and Common Ground Coffee House.

It was a good week for reading material here at the Library of Winkelman Abbey.

First on the list is the latest issue of Poetry Magazine, which is soothing balm on the brain after a hard day of writing code.

Next is Robert Kelly’s A Strange Market, published by Black Sparrow Press, which I picked up at Argos at the end of my long walk. I love the old Black Sparrow books, back when they were an independent publisher rather than an imprint. The rough covers are part of the appeal and the aesthetic.

Next is Obits. by Tess Liem, which I also picked up at Argos. I had never heard of Liem, but a quick and random read of a couple of the poems herein convinced me that this would be a good impulse purchase.

Next is Maze by J.M. McDermott, from my subscription to the catalog of Apex Book Company.

Next is Mohamed Kheir’s Slipping, translated by Robin Moger, from my subscription to Two Lines Press.

And finally volumes 1 and 2 of The Psychopathologies of Cognitive Capitalism. I picked up volume 3 when Zyra and I visited City Lights Books back in summer 2018 and, since I can’t abide incomplete sets, completing the collection seemed like a good birthday present for myself.

In reading news, I finished Arkady Martines’s A Memory Called Empire and it was wonderful! I don’t remember the last book I read which had such deep and subtle political intrigue. I appreciated Martine’s use of the narrow lens of the single viewpoint character (albeit with some branches due to a very specific technology central to the plot). This kept the sense that the machinations and machinery of empire are vast and a single person can only see a small fraction or a single facet of the whole. I will need to reconsider some of my own writing in light of the experience I gained in reading this books.

I also finished Darran Anderson’s absolutely magnificent creative nonfiction book Imaginary Cities. Anderson explores ideas and the mythology of cities, and how they live in our stories, dreams and imagination, rather than the hard numeric facts. This means that Neil Gaiman will be cited next to Le Corbusier, and the stories related by Marco Polo and Samuel Taylor Coleridge will be given equal weight to the news feeds of current and historical events. Every page of this book contains passages good for multiple writing prompts, and as with Martine’s book above, but for quite different reasons, I feel I need to revisit some of my own writing based on the influences herein.

With those two books complete, I am now reading The Cybernetic Hypothesis, written by the collective Tiqqun and published by Semiotext(e). And for fiction I just started The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow. I am not far enough into either to form an opinion, but I have read enough to be intrigued and to keep going.

In writing news, not much is happening. I am slowly transcribing the thirty poems I wrote in April, and much to my surprise some of them have promise. I will probably be working on this task for the next few week as I return to work and summer distracts me with the option of being outside and away from a computer. I also started editing a literary fiction short story I wrote a couple of years ago, as part of NaNoWriMo. I think I will have it in shape to send out before the end of summer, assuming my energy level and attention span return to what they were before I received my COVID vaccinations.

One day, having the time and mental capacity to write regularly will be such a regular part of my life that it will not be worth mentioning. But today is not that day.

Down Time

John Winkelman

Books for the week of May 16, 2021

After almost six months without a meaningful break, I am taking a week off of work. My vacation will run from Monday May 24 through Memorial Day. Ten days off. I haven’t had time off like this since, um, this past July. Sure, I had time off during the winter holidays, but that isn’t really down time as such.

Two books arrived at the Library of Winkelman Abbey this week.

On the left is the Situationist International Anthology, edited and translated by Ken Knabb of the Bureau of Public Secrets. I first became aware of this book back when I worked at the bookstore, in the early nineties. I’m pretty sure one of the clerks ordered it, and I think it stayed in the break room for a long time, eventually ending up on the remainder shelves and possibly “liberated” by someone some years later. Recently I was reading something online, as one does, and the Situationist International was mentioned, and that brought back the memories of the Anthology.

On the right is Worlds of Light and Darkness, an anthology of the best of Dreamforge and Space & Time magazines. A combined anthology is an interesting concept, and seems a good way to introduce readers of the one magazine to the writers in the other. Perhaps other small journals could take note of this book and produce their own collaborative collections.

In reading news, I am still slowly making my way through Imaginary Cities and A Memory Called Empire. I am enjoying both immensely, but life stresses this past month have taken the energy right out of me, and there are days where I can’t read more than a page or two without either falling asleep or losing my focus. I am in dire need of a reset, and I hope that the upcoming week off, in which I plan to walk a lot, visit the woods and dunes and beaches of West Michigan, and spend quality time with my girlfriend, will give me the space I need to recover.

In writing news, it is much the same as for reading. No mental energy to apply to anything except getting through the day. Again, I have high hopes but no plans for the next ten days. I could set goals, but if I didn’t meet those goals I would only feel, on my first day back to work, that I had wasted my vacation.

So I will write as I feel inspired to write, and not force myself to meet arbitrary goals and deadlines. I do that enough at work.

I’m In With the In(oculated) Crowd

John Winkelman

Books for the week of May 9, 2021

As of two days ago, I am two weeks past my second COVID shot, which means, according to the CDC, that I am fully inoculated, or at least as inoculated as one can get against things which continually evolve in response to our interactions with the world. We are well into the Anthropocene, and the scene is getting dangerous, what with the continual and inevitable responses to our actions upon the parts of the planet that are not us.

This was a good week for acquisitions here at the Library of Winkelman Abbey, thanks in large part to the arrival of rewards from a couple of recent Kickstarter campaigns.

First is the Spring 2021 issue of Peninsula Poets, the journal of the Poetry Society of Michigan, to which I had accidentally let my subscription lapse. Things are back in good order now, and just in time to serve as writing inspiration going into the summer.

Next is another Kickstarter reward, Whether Change: The Revolution Will Be Weird and Cooties Shot Required, both edited by Scott Gable and C. Dombrowski of Broken Eye Books, who publish very well-made anthologies full of good-to-great writing on a variety of topics.

On bottom left is the latest issue of Pulphouse Fiction Magazine, which is consistently just a damn good read.

On the bottom right is Fantastic Lairs: Boss Battles and Climactic Encounters, from a recent Kickstarter. I have put money toward several games on Kickstarter in recent years. Though I haven’t played in a long time, the ideas in the rule books, the world building, tactics, and strategies therein make for good study and good writing prompts.

In reading news, I am just over a hundred pages into Arkady Martine‘s A Memory Called Empire. I haven’t completed enough of the book to form a solid opinion, but I am really enjoying it so far. For nonfiction I am slowly working through Darran Anderson’s Imaginary Cities. Though well over a hundred pages in, I am tempted to go back and start again, this time with a notebook nearby. I have not read anything like this book. It is a survey, a history, a meditation, a treatise, and it reads like poetry. At less that 20% through this book, I think it will be one of my favorite reads of the year. Highly recommended.

In writing news, not much has changed from last week. I still feel kind of brain-dead from the effects of the second vaccination shot as well as *gestures at the world*, though the effects of the shot have mostly worn off. The world, not so much. But warmer days means mornings on the porch will soon be viable, and when that happens I hope to hit the ground running with several hundred thousand words of prose by the end of the year.

Or maybe a couple of poems.

Or somewhere in the middle.