Category: Literary Matters

IWSG, December 2021

John Winkelman

Welcome to the Insecure writer’s Support Group post for December 2021.

Well here we are, the day after the end of NaNoWriMo 2021, and I am actually feeling…good? Hyped? Pumped? I reached 50,000 words on Thanksgiving Day, which was fortunate because the rest of the holiday weekend was fraught and full of family drama.

But I won NaNoWriMo 2021, in one of the most stressful years of my life. It provided for me a distraction and an escape from all the [gestures at everything], and I made good progress on the sequel to the book I didn’t finish last year, which means I am now in a good place to go back and finish my book from 2020.

This month’s IWSG question is the following:

In your writing, what stresses you the most? What delights you?

The stresses in my writing life vary over time, depending on many outside factors. But the stress factor which pops up most consistently is when the words just…don’t…work. I don’t mean writer’s block, or any kind of general malaise which prevents me from getting my head in the proper space to put words to paper. I mean the disconnect between the thing I am trying to say and what ends up on the surface in front of me. I have a great idea for a poem or a story, and I sit down to get it out of my head and onto the screen, and the words just kind of…sit there. Whatever energy went into transcribing the multidimensional multimedia images from my imagination down onto the page is now gone. The words are stagnant, uninteresting, completely lost in translation.

Riffing on Michelangelo’s quote about finding the piece of art inside the stone, this particular stone, if I hacked away at it, would only contain a slightly smaller stone. This is the state of mind where I can easily slip into the impostor syndrome mindset, which is difficult to overcome, as it provides its own sort of self-sustaining energy.

In contrast, what delights me the most is when I get some words written and they are exactly what I was trying to convey, and instead of sitting there like a lump of rock, they glow in all their myriad facets of wonder. And even if (to abuse the metaphor) they sit there like a lump of rock, this time they are the rock which contains within it a sculpture of sublime beauty and detail. These are the drafts within which you can already see the story in its final, perfect form, and all you need to do is remove the extraneous and polish the remaining.

The process of writing which results in such a feeling tends to provide its own sustaining energy; the groove or flow or zone where time seems to disappear and I feel like I am writing in an eternal now, though in the mundane world that eternity may only last for a few minutes.

I couldn’t say which I feel more often while writing – stress or delight – but since I am still writing, thirty-plus years after I first started, I would say that a single moment of writing success makes up for almost any amount of writing stress.

 

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Complete but Not Finished

John Winkelman

Books which arrived in the week of November 21, 2021

Another brief post, because life is busy right now.

Four new books arrived at the house in the past week. The first three are from an order I placed with Books and Mortar. The last is from a recently-fulfilled Kickstarter.

First up is Out of the Ruins, an anthology of apocalyptic stories edited by Preston Grassman. Since I like writing stories in the “salvage punk” subgenre, it seemed appropriate to read stories about events which would lead to the state of needing to salvage to survive.

Next is Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir, the sequel to the most excellent Gideon the Ninth, which I read last year.

Next is Shadowboxing by Joseph Rios. I picked this one up based on a single poem of his which was featured in the Poem a Day newsletter distributed by Poets.org. This is the first book of poetry I picked up in many months.

Last is the Volume 19 of the Girl Genius comic created by Kaja and Phil Foglio, titled Sparks and Monsters. This one was a long time coming, thanks to *gestures at everything* happening during the course of production. But it is finally here, and it is wonderful as usual.

In reading news, I spent a couple of hours at a laundromat this week, which gave me time to read four of the five stories in Jean Davis’ collection Dreams of Stars and Lies, which I picked up, oh, some time ago. I read the fifth story on Friday, making the book the only one I read to completion in the month of November.

I also made a little headway in David Graeber’s Debt: The First 5,000 Years, which I will probably finish by the end of the year. Maybe.

In writing news, on Thanksgiving Day I passed 50,000 words in my story, Racing the Flood Down to the Sea. That puts me at about 75 to 80% done with this the pre-first-draft version of the book. If I complete it, and if it seems to have potential, then at some point in the future I will edit it to get a proper first draft. Then the real work will begin.

A Cautious Anticipation of Success

John Winkelman

Books from the week of November 14, 2021

As of today I am past 40,000 words in National Novel Writing Month. This is not as much as I had hoped, but, well, I am 52 and don’t have the burning energy and contempt for sleep and other healthy lifestyle choices that I had in my 40s.

Four new books arrived at the house in the past week.

The first three are purchases from Books and Mortar bookstore here in Grand Rapids.

First up is Critical Race Theory: The Key Writings That Formed the Movement, a collection of the central texts of CRT, edited by Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw and several others. With all of the white supremacists squealing and crying about how their children are being taught to be ashamed of being white, I thought that becoming well-informed on the subject was a necessity. And frankly, white supremacists should be ashamed of themselves.

Next up is Anti-Oedipus, the first volume of Capitalism and Schizophrenia by Gilles Deleuze and Felix Guattari. I picked up A Thousand Plateaus a couple of year ago, and it has been slowly warping my brain. I look forward to diving into this one, probably sometime this spring.

Third is Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez. I only recently became aware of this book, in a thread somewhere on Metafilter. It came up again, in another thread, and since I was heading to Books and Mortar to pick up the previous two books in this post anyway, I grabbed it from one of their tables.

Books and Mortar is just the best!

And last is Dangerous Visions and New Worlds: Radical Science Fiction, 1950 to 1985, edited by Andrew Nette and Iain McIntyre, from a recently completed Kickstarter run by PM Press.

In reading news I am still working my way through David Graeber’s Debt: The First 5,000 Years. I had thought to be done by the end of the month, but I have had almost no time at all to do anything besides write, thanks to several unexpected time sinks popping up this month.

In writing news, as stated above I am just past 40,000 words into my text, and should hit 50,000 by mid-week. After that, we will see. I have a short story I would like to complete, as well as the story to which the current effort is a sequel. But as long as I keep writing, it’s all good.

Writing, Writing, Writing

John Winkelman

Books which arrived in the week of November 7, 2021

Here I am, almost halfway into NaNoWriMo and well past the halfway point in my word count. I haven’t done this well in NaNoWriMo since, I think, 2019. Today I reached 30,000 words, and with due application of virtual ink and elbow grease I could possibly hit 50,000 by end of day of Friday. That would leave me eleven days to finish up the book and maybe work on a couple of other writing projects. That’s the real goal, after all – finish this draft of the book.

Three volumes arrived here at the Library of Winkelman Abbey in the past week.

First up is Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse, which has the honor of being the first book I purchased from Books and Mortar after they re-opened the store in their new, improved, and much larger new space.

Next is the latest issue of Peninsula Poets, the biannual magazine of the Poetry Society of Michigan, of which I am a member when I remember to pay my dues.

Next up is Michigan Roots, the once-every-five-years anthology of the poetry of the members of the Poetry Society of Michigan. This is of particular significance to me, because it contains one of my poems! “Afternoon Traffic”, which was originally published by Portage Magazine in the 2020 edition of their online magazine, is reprinted here thanks to the efforts of editor Jennifer Clark, who reached out to me this past spring to see if they could include my poem in their anthology.

In reading news, there is nothing new to report, because I’m spending all of my spare moments writing. 30,000 down, 20,000 to go, and 16 days in which to do it. I feel cautiously optimistic.

Back Into the Writing Life

John Winkelman

Reading material for the week of October 31, 2021

I have written more in the past two weeks than in the entire previous year. I wouldn’t say I have recovered from anything; more that I have grown accustomed, finally, to the way things are now. The new abnormal, if you will, which could also be a newbie-friendly version of the New Weird genre. Like, Annihilation for junior high.

But whatever needed to click, clicked, and now I can write freely again, if not well. I am a little out of practice.

Four new readable things arrived this past week at the Library of Winkelman Abbey.

First up is The Interim by Wolfgang Hilbig, the most recent delivery from my subscription to Two Lines Press.

Next is the new issue of the ever-excellent Pulphouse Fiction Magazine, to which I will, one day, submit some writing.

Next is the latest issue of Jacobin. I have cancelled my subscription to this one as, though I like the magazine and appreciate what they do, I have a stack of over two years of mostly-unread issues sitting in my office.

Next is the latest issue of Salvage, subtitled “The Disorder of the Future.” I will continue my subscription to Salvage for as long as they continue to publish. Though their topics are grounded in the present their viewpoint seems to be about five years ahead of the consensus reality, and I find that invaluable as I think about the events of the past few years.

In reading news, not much has happened because I have been too busy…

WRITING! NaNoWriMo started on November 1, and as of this post I have completed 17,000 words, or just over one third of the 50,000-word minimum to be a NaNoWrimo Winner. One third in one week is a comfortable buffer and I think I have it in me to get to 50,000 by the end of the month, though I have looked that particular gift horse in the mouth enough times to know that I shouldn’t take my time/energy/motivation/health for granted.

IWSG, November 2021

John Winkelman

Welcome to the Insecure Writer’s Support Group post for the month of November, 2021.

Hmm. What am I feeling insecure about this month? What could it be. Could it be…

SATAN*?!?!

No! Not Satan. Just NaNoWriMo. It’s always NaNoWriMo.

My confidence took a big hit last year when I failed to complete my 50,000 words worse than in any previous NaNo. I blame burnout, family stress, COVID stress, and attempting to continue a partially-completed work, rather than starting something new. For me, NaNoWriMo works best when whatever I work on is completely contained within the month. This is why I do so well with short stories at this time of year.

So for 2021 I am trying a different approach. I plan to write a book, so nothing new there, but instead of writing in chapters, I have created 30 documents in Google Docs, one for each day of the month. Whatever I write on a given day, no matter what it is, where it starts or where it ends, goes in the doc for the day. I’ll take notes about where chapters should start and end, but rather than worry about chapter (or short story) length, this year will be all about the writing. Just get it down and get it done. The editing will happen in December. Or January. Or never. Anywhere but in November.

Therefore I am cautiously optimistic that this month I will be able to get the 50,000. And so far, two days in, I have averaged about 5,000 words a day. So it may actually happen.

If you are participating in NaNoWriMo, here is my profile page at nanowrimo.org. Hit me up with a buddy request!

Anyway.

This month’s IWSG question is the following:

What’s harder to do, coming up with your book title or writing the blurb?

That’s an easy one: The title. I say this simply because I have not yet had to come up with a blurb for a book, because I have not yet worked a book the point where it requires a blurb. Maybe this year. Or maybe next.

I suppose that makes it another thing to feel insecure about.

*If you didn’t get the Satan reference, do a google search for “SNL Church Lady”.

 

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is a community dedicated to encouraging
and supporting insecure writers
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Another October, Put to Rest

John Winkelman

The Tai Chi Tree at Wilcox Park

Yesterday was the last outdoor session of the year for the tai chi and kung fu classes. We were extremely lucky with the weather. Since late March we were only rained out twice, and had to cancel one class due to extreme heat. Three classes in eight months. We could probably tough it out on Saturdays for a couple of more weeks, but since all of us are vaccinated and okay with masks, we are moving classes to From the Heart Yoga for the winter. With a little luck our original practice space at the downtown YWCA will open after the beginning of the year, but we are prepared to move locations for the long term, if necessary.

No new reading material arrived at the house in the past week. This is becoming a regular occurrence.

In reading news, I am slowly working my way through David Graeber‘s Debt: The First 5,000 Years, which has put me in a state of information overload. I think it is brilliant, but a more nuanced opinion will need to wait until I compete the book.

In writing news, I wrote most of the first draft of a short story which has been bouncing around in my head for a few months. I would have completed the draft but a migraine laid me low for a couple of days in the middle of the week. Still, this is the first creative prose writing I have worked on this calendar year, and it was a good practice run for NaNoWriMo which starts tomorrow.

And tomorrow starts in about six hours.

Autumn Weather and Autumn Energy

John Winkelman

New arrivals in the week of October 17, 2021

Yesterday I wandered over to Books and Mortar to help Jenny and her crew move the store from their old location at 955 Cherry Street SE, across the street to their new location at 966 Cherry Street SE. The moving event was supposed to take three hours, and I set aside a couple of hours more because I know about moving locations. I also expected maybe a dozen people to show up (again because I have lots of experience with moving) because the day was cold and intermittently rainy.

But instead, the weather broke and the sun came out, and at least 75 people showed up and formed a human conveyor belt to move the books across the street, and the entire inventory and most of the fixtures were in the new space in less than an hour. Books and Mortar have photos and video of the event up on their Instagram. I look forward to seeing the new space when it is finished (grand re-opening November 5!).

Two new bookish things arrived this week, and one shirt.

First up is the latest issue of Poetry, which continues to be a balm of sorts for when the world gets a little too chaotic.

Next up is Gaia Awakens, a new anthology of climate crisis fiction from a recent Kickstarter created by C.D. Tavenor and Meg Trast of the Two Doctors Media Collaborative. I backed their project at the tier which included the “Eco, not Ego” tshirt, which I will happily wear to conventions, if the conventions I attend ever happen again.

In reading news, I started David Graber‘s Debt: The First 5,000 Years, which should keep me good and angry through the end of November.

In writing news, I am slowly amassing a pile of notes for the kickoff of NaNoWriMo in a week and change. I am trying something new this year – instead of breaking up my writing by chapter or story, I created 30 documents in Google Docs, one for each day of November, and will just put everything I write on each day in each document. I’ll worry about redistributing the words to their final resting places after the end of the month. What comes out of NaNoWriMo is the zero-eth draft of the work. The first draft will appear out of the random pile of typing once I have time to review what I have written.

The Days are Definitely Darker

John Winkelman

The Tai Chi Tree at Wilcox Park

Here in the middle of October dusk comes noticeably earlier every evening, particularly on Wednesdays when we have tai chi class in Wilcox Park. Class runs from 6:00 to 7:30, and while the sunsets are beautiful, soon we will not be able to see each other well enough to practice sword work safely.

No new reading material arrived at the house this week. Just as well; I have a big backlog.

In reading news, I just finished Simon Wiesenthal‘s The Sunflower, and I can see that this is a book which I will keep within reach for a very long time.

I also finished George Saunders‘ A Swim in a Pond in the Rain, which is now firmly in the top three of the best books about writing I have read in the past thirty years.

In writing news, still no new prose or poetry. I am still in recovery (mental, emotion, sleep) from the past month or year or two years, and hope to get to a place where I can participate meaningfully in NaNoWriMo, which starts in (o god!) two weeks.

Kickstarter, Covid, and Supply Chain Disruption

John Winkelman

New Books for the Week of October 3, 2021

This past week was one of little to nothing accomplished. A combination of terrible insomnia and stress, along with some kind of mild illness (not COVID, according to the test I took on Wednesday), left me as brain-dead as I have been in any week this past year.

Three new books arrived at the house this past week.

On the left is Empty Wardrobes by Maria Judite de Carvalho, translated from the Portuguese by Margaret Julie Costa and published by Two Lines Press.

In the middle is Jason Sanford’s new novel The Plague Birds, published by Apex Book Company.

On the right is Ekphrastic Beasts, a combination art book and RPG monster manual published by Janaka Stucky by way of his Kickstarter campaign. This book is the basis for the title of this post.

The past two years have been tough on everyone. The COVID pandemic has disrupted the interconnected systems of the world to a level usually not seen outside of world wars. Everyone is having a tough time. Everyone is stressed.

On April 28 of 2020 Janaka Stucky launched the Kickstarter campaign for his RPG monster manual Ekphrastic Beasts. The pandemic was well underway at that time, and quarantines had been going on for well over a month. There was no indication at that time of how long the lockdowns would last, or what the effect would be on the global workforce and supply chains. Simply put, the modern world had never experienced a disruption like this, ongoing, pervasive and unpredictable.

The original estimated delivery date was well over a year ago. Obviously, since the book just arrived here for my weekly update, that deadline has long passed.

In the comments for this Kickstarter are many, many messages of support, many more messages expressing concern and/or some level of dissatisfaction with the caveat of understanding that times are tough, and a few messages which basically say, “fuck your problems, ship the books.”

There are any number of reasons for a Kickstarter campaign to miss its deadline – shipping issues, production issues, workforce issues. Personal issues. This kind of thing happens. It is unfortunate that it happens, but it happens.

Over the last two years a great many deadlines have been missed for a great many reasons, almost all of them related either to COVID (and peoples’ responses to COVID) or the occasional cargo ship stuck sideways in the Suez Canal. This is just as frustrating for the people responsible for fulfillment as the people expecting to be fulfilled.

So coming in when a long-delayed Kickstarter is finally complete, and complaining about the wait, and about the perceived deficiencies in the product, without acknowledging the unique circumstances of the past two years is, frankly, a dick move, and people who feel such a gross sense of entitlement, no matter the amount of money they put down, deserve to be disappointed. It isn’t all about you. Pull your head out and take a look around at the world, and then choose to feel a little empathy rather than kick the one person who held it all together in order to complete the project, come hell or high water.

Here endeth the lesson.