Tag: writing

IWSG, May 2022

John Winkelman

Hello, writing community! Welcome to May, which seemed to appear out of nowhere. Then again, the first two days of May have been overcast, rainy and cold, so it’s like April never left. Or March, for that matter. Then again, the COVID pandemic is still kind of hanging in there, which means today (Wednesday, IWSG day) is March 794, 2020.

Anyway.

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group question for May 2022 is:

It’s the best of times; it’s the worst of times. What are your writer highs (the good times)? And what are your writer lows (the crappy times)?

My writer highs come from being in the zone, or in the flow, as described by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. There are moments in the mornings when I can knock two concepts against each other in my head and from the interaction and intersection of these agents I can pull a page or so of short story, or a new scene for a novel, or the seed of a poem. These moments never seem to be predictable, but they always seem to happen within the first few minutes of a writing session. Which is to say, if I make it more than a few minutes into a writing session, that is the time when I am most likely to achieve the flow state and in that moment I am no longer writing, I am transcribing. I feel like I am in harmony with the world and the words are writing themselves.

The lows are the mornings when I am sleep deprived and still burned out from the day before, and my pen seems too heavy to hold, and someone broke into my house and rearranged all of the keys on my laptop. Or so it seems while in the grip of the ennui which is so easy to fall into and so difficult to pull myself out of. I’m feeling a touch of it right now, coming after a month full of reading and writing poetry, and attending poetry events and talking to poets. I should feel great, but instead I feel friction. I want to write, but I don’t want to write. And petulance looks silly on someone in their mid-fifties.

So the only thing to do is endure the down-times and have faith that the good times will appear again, hopefully soon, and I will be able to get back into the zone.

 

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May, Suddenly and At Last

John Winkelman

New Books for the Week of April 24, 2022

This morning I opened my eyes and April was in the rear-view mirror. It was a good month, I suppose, thought the unseasonably cold weather kept me from feeling like I was experiencing spring, as such. It was nice to see the trees and shrubs slowly producing buds and blossoms and leaves in stop-motion during my walks to and from the office.

Three new book arrived in the past week.

First up is Patina by local poet Anna Renee, who I met at the Poetry and Pie monthly open mic night at The Sparrows cafe. Anna is one of the organizers of the event, and I am SO VERY HAPPY that poetry readings and open mics have returned to Grand Rapids. Poetry and Pie happens on the last Tuesday of every month, which means the next one is May 31, and I will do my very best to have a couple of poems ready to offer the audience. It’s been years.

Next is The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae. I heard about this one back in January, while attending the book recommendation panel at ConFusion. It has finally been released. so I grabbed a copy.

And on the right is The Antonio Gramsci Reader. I have been meaning to dive into Gramsci for a few years, so this is somewhat overdue.

I picked up the Monae and Gramsci from Books and Mortar on April 30, which was Independent Bookstore Day. As part of their festivities they had local poet Elle Warren writing poems in the moment, based on suggested prompts. I said “empathy” and ten minutes later, I had a beautiful poem.

In reading news, I read five issues of Poetry in the past week, which brought me to a total of 17 for the month, and am now caught up to March 2020. I think I will continue to read all the back issues on my shelves until I am caught up to present. Reading poetry at this pace keeps my mind in a good space and makes writing my own poetry easier.

I also read Patina (mentioned above), which was beautiful and heartbreaking and inspiring.

In writing news, I kept up the pace of a poem a day for the entire month of April, which felt fantastic! Just like April of last year, I focused on this one writing project from beginning to end, and came out of it inspired to continue the practice, though last year I ran head-long into several extremely stressful months and just didn’t have the energy to put to creative pursuits.

But now I have 30 new poems to edit, and this upcoming week is the first full week of the month, which means it is an editing week, so my goal is to get all 30 poems typed up and ready for review and triage. And that means that life is good.

IWSG, April 2022

John Winkelman

It’s not that March was objectively longer than either of the previous two Marches, but it was around this time two years ago that the lockdowns began, and now that restrictions have eased considerably from even a year ago, the stress levels are much reduced, and that leaves more energy for creative endeavors.

This month’s Insecure Writers Support Group question is:

Have any of your books been made into audio books? If so, what is the main challenge in producing an audiobook?

I have not yet published any books, so the simple answer is…No.

But I have friends who have published books in both print and audio book version. Dyrk Ashton, in particular, who is a friend I met at ConFusion several years ago. He is the author of the most excellent Paternus Trilogy, of which all three are available in audiobook format. Dyrk is part of the Wizards, Warriors and Words fantasy-writing advice podcast, which recently released an episode about creating audio books for self-published authors.

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IWSG, March 2022

John Winkelman

Riverside Park in Grand Rapids Michigan

Hi everyone. I missed last month’s IWSG post due to a combination of *multiple vague gestures at the state of the world*. I’m sure you can relate.

This month’s Insecure Writer’s Support Group question is:

Have you ever been conflicted about writing a story or adding a scene to a story? How did you decide to write it or not?

Much of what I write is in response to calls for submission to anthologies and themed issues of various literary and genre fiction magazines. I seldom complete those stories in time to meet the deadline, but even when it is obvious that the work will take months longer than originally estimated, I try to keep to the original theme. Constraints, I have heard, breed innovation.

But when writing to a theme, particularly if it is a type of story I have not written before, I sometimes find myself asking the question, “Did I put that thing I wrote into the story because the story demands it, or because the constraints of the theme demand it?” This can be a difficult knot to untangle.

Here is an example:

A few years ago, World Weaver Press put out a call for new interpretations of the Baba Yaga myth, for their anthology Skull and Pestle. My degree is in Russian Studies, and I have been to Russia, and continue to read Russian literature (in translation only; my language skills are quite rusty), so this seemed like a perfect fit.

I set the story in a village of Russian Orthodox Old Believers in northern Minnesota, near the Canadian border. The writing went well, with (I thought) good characters, good dialog, and good pacing, but when it came time to include Baba Yaga, I found that I couldn’t quite fit her into the story in a way that felt convincing. I went back and re-wrote the first third of the story (which kept getting longer), and by the time I found a way to transplant Baba Yaga from the forests of western Russia to the plains of the American Midwest, the deadline had long passed, and the short story had become a novella.

The troublesome scene, which would have brought Baba Yaga into prominence, was an act of bigoted violence against the Old Believers which, while all too plausible, felt gratuitous. Yet I couldn’t find a way through to the final act without that scene or something like it. So I left the scene in and re-wrote almost everything before it. Having done that, I found I needed to go a completely different direction with the last part of the story, and that is why it is still not finished.

Skull and Pestle is available here, and is quite good. I think all of the stories in it are better than whatever final form my own story would have taken, had I completed it in time to meet the deadline.

On a side note, I want to thank all of the members of the IWSG for your support and encouragement as  I round out my first year in this group. It has been difficult to stay motivated during the pandemic, and being part of this writing group has been a big help. In particular I want to thank Jean Davis for bringing the IWSG to my attention. You rock!

 

Insecure Writer's Support Group BadgeThe Insecure Writer’s Support Group
is a community dedicated to encouraging
and supporting insecure writers
in all phases of their careers.

February, Tired and Hairy

John Winkelman

The view east from the Skywalk in Grand Rapids

For the first time in two years, I walked to the office work twice in the same week. I discovered (1) that I really missed this small boundary between my work and home life, (2) Downtown Grand Rapids is much more quiet than I remember from past years, though the fact that it it still winter may have something to do with that, and (3) I am really out of shape when it comes to walking. The above photo is from a brief lunchtime walk along the Skywalk at the western edge of downtown Grand Rapids.

Still – it was really good to get out of the house, and on days when the weather permits the walk, I will once again be working from the office.

No new books arrived at the house this past week. Or rather, one did, but it was a duplicate of an earlier acquisition, sent in error as part of a Kickstarter fulfillment glitch. So it doesn’t count.

This past Sunday I finished Hristo Karastoyanov’s The Same Night Comes for Us All. It was great!

Yesterday I finished Glory and its Litany of Horrors written by Brazilian author Fernanda Torres and translated by Eric M.B. Becker. Also great, and somewhat bonkers.

After finishing the Torres I pulled down my copy of The Tyrant Baru Cormorant, the final book of the Masquerade trilogy by Seth Dickinson. Given how good the previous two books were, I have very high hopes for this one.

In writing news, I finally finished the short story I have been pecking away at since October. It left me feeling happy, satisfied and, somehow, restless. Like, now what do I do? I think what I do now is rustle up some other half-finished short stories and, well, finish them!

I Wrote a Bit!

John Winkelman

Milkweed

My new writing routine is working! After a week of editing and prep, this week I wrote several hundred words of a short story I started back in October. I am now within a few hundred words of the end. I know exactly how it will go, I just haven’t put the words down on paper yet.

Nothing new arrived at the Library this week, which I expect will increasingly be the state of things as I rein in my book acquisition habits. I have enough here in the house to keep me busy for the next decade, if all I did was read for six hours a day, seven days a week.

In reading news, I am approaching halfway through Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. So far I love this book every bit as much as I did Gideon the Ninth. I may need to hunt up some of Muir’s shorter works and see how she writes when she isn’t writing about NECROMANCERS IN SPACE!

In writing news, as I stated above, I am almost done with the first draft of my short story titled “Octaves.” But already I can see many places where I need to re-write the first part, which will certainly cascade into the more recent work, which ultimately means a complete rewrite. But that is to be expected. After this story I will pick up other, half-finished works and finish those drafts so I can move them into the editing queue.

 

A Good Week of Reading and Writing, and a ConFusion 2022 Update

John Winkelman

New reading material for the week of January 2, 2022

ConFusion 2022 Con Chair Lithie DuBois has just posted a transparent, detailed update on the state of ConFusion, which starts in a little less than two weeks. To sum up: ConFusion 2022 will still take place as a live event, and I will still attend as a volunteer and a panel moderator. However, the convention is in a precarious situation due to the timing of the Omicron variant and their contract with the hosting hotel. The post is well worth reading, even if you are not planning to attend the convention. This is truly a make-or-break year for ConFusion.

In more personal news, three new volumes arrived at the Library of Winkelman Abbey this past week.

First up is the latest issue of Pulphouse Fiction Magazine, from one of my few remaining active subscriptions.

Next up is SPFBO 7 finalist Shadows of Ivory by TL Greylock and Bryce O’Connor. I met Greylock at ConFusion back in 2019, when Dyrk Ashton introduced me to a number of self-published authors and thus opened the door to a vast trove of books and authors I likely never would have heard of.

Next is Bastion by Phil Tucker. I met Tucker in the same conversation with TL Greylock, at ConFusion. Truly that was a banner year for self publishing.

2022 Autonomedia Calendar of Jubilee Saints

I also received the 2022 edition of the Autonomedia Calendar of Jubilee Saints, which is always a hoot. For example, this is the entry for January 9:

Holidays: Play God Day, Martyr’s Day (Panama)
1859 – American feminist Carrie Chapman Catt born, Ripon, Wisconsin
1870 – Russian social theorist Alexander Herzen dies, Paris, France
1890 – “Robot-worker” writer Karel Čapek born, Malé Svatoňovice, Bohemia
1905 – Revolution breaks out in St. Petersburg, Russia
1908 – Philosopher, feminist Simone de Beauvoir born, Paris, France
1944 – Indian-German filmmaker Harun Farocki born, Neutitschein, Sudetenland
2021 – Ultra-leftist gay Israeli human rights activist Ezra Nawi dies, Jerusalem

You get the idea. It’s quite an informative calendar.

I first became aware of Autonomedia when I worked at Schuler Books as the special orders manager. At that time there was no Amazon.com, the internet was new, and the WWW was very much in its infancy. Therefore if people wanted books and didn’t know how to suss out publishers’ addresses and catalogs, they came to me. We had an Autonomedia catalog, and received a small but steady trickle of orders for their titles. I have a few of their books in my library, and I think I had more, once upon a time, but either loaned or donated or sold them during one of my early, ill-advised book purges.

In reading news, I finished Rebecca Roanhorse‘s newest book, Black Sun, and loved it! Highly recommended. I am now a little past page 100 of Tamsyn Muir‘s Harrow the Ninth, and enjoying it every bit as much as I did her previous book Gideon the Ninth. I hope to have it finished by the end of the week, because my pile of unread books is still embarrassingly large.

In writing news, I didn’t do a lot of writing as such, this being the first full week of the month and therefore the week set aside for editing and submitting. I spent all of my writing time organizing and cataloging all of the short stories and poetry which I wrote in 2021, and reviewed several of them to see which ones are worth revising and might eventually be worthy of submitting, or at least putting in front of beta readers. This will undoubtedly be an ongoing, rolling process, as tomorrow begins a week of writing, either creating new works or adding to existing, partially-completed works.

If any of you, my two or three readers, have writing goals, stories, or successes, feel free to leave them in the comments.

And that’s it for this week. 2022 is starting off slowly and carefully, with looming dangers and wonders just over the horizon. Happy New Year, everyone!

The First Full Week of the New Year

John Winkelman

About this time last year, when it became apparent that the COVID-19 pandemic would continue for the foreseeable future, I set about putting together a daily routine for the weekday mornings. This routine included working out, reading, writing, playing with the cats, and generally relaxing and preparing for the workday. I managed to stick with this routine until I received my first COVID vaccination shot at the beginning of April, at which point the stress and anxiety which had been powering my life to that point evaporated, and so did my routine. After my second shot at the end of April I tried to pick it up again, but other life stressors appeared and, while I managed to do some minimal workouts and writing, all of this went away at the beginning of September when my mother passed away. The writing picked up again in the beginning of November with NaNoWriMo, but I haven’t had a good steady week of morning workouts in almost a year.

So here I am at the start of 2022, with a renewed sense of purpose, if not exactly renewed energy. I am 52 (and a half!), and don’t have the deep well of mojo I had in my twenties, or even in my forties.

But a routine is a good framework around which to build a day, and mine looks something like this:

5:00: wake up, feed cats
5:10 – 6:30: calisthenics, chi kung, kung fu and tai chi forms practice
6:30 – 8:00: write
8:00 – 8:30: read or more writing
8:30 – 17:00: work prep, work
17:30 – 18:00: stationary bicycle, hand/arm/grip conditioning

For the rest of the day I relax with my girlfriend, read a little more, play with the cats, work on projects around the house, and maybe watch some TV. Repeat each day of the work week. Weekends are open time when Zyra and I do whatever suits our mood.

For writing I also planned a monthly routine, which involves setting aside the first full week of the month for editing and submitting, and using the rest of the month for writing. As this is the first full week of January, I am using my time in the mornings to catalog and sort all the poems I wrote in 2021, as well as reviewing the large pile of short stories, completed or otherwise, which await my attention.

 

IWSG, January 2022

John Winkelman

Welcome to the Insecure Writer’s Support Group post for January 2022.

Trying to take advantage of the zeitgeist, I started the new year with specific goals and plans for my writing life for the next six months. I am much more productive and engaged when I have a set routine, though every plan, no matter how flexible or rigorous, is subject to disruption by outside influences.

In 2020 I tried a weekly routine where I would write in the mornings on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, then edit on Thursday and submit on Friday. Saturday and Sunday were rest time, and also “open hours” for cleaning up the odds and ends left over from the week.

Note that these three steps were not all the same writing pieces. I was not starting a poem at the beginning of the week and submitting it at the end. The work I edited was from weeks and months prior, and the works I submitted were from months and years prior.

I liked the feeling of continuity of working on writing from now, the recent past, and the more distant past. But three mornings a week is often simply not enough time. Editing, in my experience, takes at least as much time as writing, and submitting stories and poems is a lot more complicated than simply copying a poem into the body of an email and sending out into the world.

So though having discrete chunks of time for each step of the writing process was useful, the schedule I chose was too fine-grained and I found it difficult to get my head into the correct space for the daily tasks.

So this year I am trying a variation on the previous theme. The first full week of the month is set aside for editing and submitting, and the rest of the month is for writing. This way I can be fully immersed in a given (or several) projects, while setting aside time to let those projects evolve and go out into the world.

Since this is the first full week of the month, this is an editing week, and I am using it to organize and catalog the 40+ poems I wrote in 2021, and see which ones have promise. If I finish with the poetry I will knock the dust off of one of my old short stories, and see if I can’t get it to a place where I can send it out for publication.

This month’s IWSG question is:

What’s the one thing about your writing career you regret the most? Were you able to overcome it?

This is an easy one. The thing about my writing career I regret the most is the years between 1999 and 2013 where I produced almost no creative work at all.

Back in the mid to late 1990s  when I was working at Schuler Books and Music, the majority of my cow-orkers were writers, and we were all full of the kind of creative energy which comes from being part of a close-knit group of over-educated, underpaid creative types at loose ends. We created and attended reading groups, writing groups, book clubs, poetry and music events, plays, and the monthly POT (philosophical, ontological, theological) group meetings where we would stay up until the wee hours discussing topics like love, creativity, responsibility, religion, the past, the future, and the present in all its wondrous and terrible facets. We were (mostly) in our twenties. We had energy for that sort of thing.

Then I started my career as a web developer and programmer, and abruptly all my energy (and time) went to learning how to make things look good and work correctly in a web browser. This was in 1999, at the peak of the DotCom boom and I would regularly work 50-80 hour weeks, and my creative writing output dropped off to practically zero. When I look through my personal journals from that time, there are multiple gaps of several months where I didn’t write at all. And what I did write was mostly short entries complaining about being burned out and exhausted. All of my energy was going into my career, such as it was.

Then in late 2013, fresh off of the end of an extremely toxic relationship and a hellish work project where I was writing code for twelve hour days for weeks at a time without a break, I discovered National Novel Writing Month. I immediately joined a writing group made up of people from the local NaNoWriMo community, and from this experience blossomed Caffeinated Press and The 3288 Review. So as abruptly as my writing career had stalled back in September 1999, it restarted just as abruptly on November 1, 2013.

Those are fourteen years I can never get back, and in my bad moments I resent the hell out of the jobs, employers and managers who demanded so much of my time and creative energy in return for so little compensation. But I do have a stable career now, which allows me sufficient (if not exactly ample) time to write, edit and submit my work. I regret all that wasted time, but what’s past is past and I am writing now. That’s all that matters.

 

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2021 In Review

John Winkelman

Poe and Pepper, asleep on my lap

Oh, 2021 was a hell of a year. I don’t think there’s any argument there. It was certainly one of the most stressful and uncertain years in my life. The successive waves of COVID variants spreading through the world, accompanied by hundreds of thousands of deaths in the USA, and millions more in the rest of the world, made it difficult to concentrate on anything beyond getting from one day to the next. It wasn’t just that the news (as well as the “news”) was distracting; it was that in the context of a global pandemic, everything else seemed a little (or a lot) less important.

Relationship

The high point of 2021, no doubt about it, was my relationship with my partner Zyra, who I have been with for a little over four years, and with whom I have been cohabiting for a little over two. We continue to find comfort and joy in each others’ presence, and are good at working through moments of stress and friction and coming out the other side, closer and stronger.

In April, Zyra officially started her business Gallafe (pronounced “GALA-fey”), making Filipino food and selling it at the Fulton Street and Holland Farmer’s Markets. She also began holding popup dinner specials on alternating Fridays, as well as the occasional Sunday brunch offering and a regular delivery to the South East Market. She has made amazing progress in a short amount of time, and this in the second year of an ongoing pandemic. I have been assisting her where I can, primarily with massages and running errands. And as of the last day of the year, she can be found on DoorDash, if you are in Grand Rapids and search for Asian food or simply “Gallafe.”

Last Christmas we picked up a new cat, Pepper, from the same Upper Peninsula farm where we adopted Poe the year before. Being from the same colony as Poe, they are related in at least one way. They are certainly cousins, though Poe might also be Pepper’s aunt, at no more that two steps removed.

As Zyra recently pointed out, Pepper is Poe’s emotional support animal. The cats have been an absolute joy, providing Zyra and I with endless entertainment and affection, and offering a release valve of sorts for our relationship, giving us other living creatures to focus our attentions on, which was vital for the long days of us having no other human interaction than with each other. Having lived with cats for two years now, I can’t imagine ever going back to a pet-free household.

Martial Arts

Master Lee’s School of Tai Chi Praying Mantis Kung Fu and Tai Chi Jeung continued to meet throughout this past year, online from January through the middle of March, and outside at Wilcox Park in the Eastown neighborhood of Grand Rapids through the end of October. We are now holding hybrid classes, in person at From the Heart Yoga and Tai Chi Center, the studio senior instructor Rick Powell runs with his wife Behnje Masson. We have a camera set up so students who are not comfortable practicing in person can participate remotely.

I and our other assistant instructor Tracy also hold informal “office hours” over Zoom to assist students in the time between classes, which has been a big help for the remote-only students, as well as a morale booster for me, because it provides a little more human interaction, which has been sorely restricted for the past two years.

We are able to practice about 75% of our pre-COVID curriculum. Out of an abundance of caution we are forgoing most drills and exercises which involve more than incidental personal contact. We hope that this will change as we move into the new year, but with new COVID variants spreading through the country we are trying to be patient. Better to have to re-learn a few skills in a year than to be the vector for one of our students becoming seriously ill.

Reading

2021 was a good year for reading. I started the year with Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, which I have tried but failed to complete several times of the past three decades, but this time I made it through to the end. And I ended the year with Dostoevsky’s The Eternal Husband and Other Stories, as it seemed appropriate to book-end the year with classic Russian literature. In between I was all over the place, reading genre and literary fiction, a wide variety of nonfiction, and many books of poetry. The grand total for the year was 57 books and over 120 short stories read.

Writing

Much to my surprise, considering how 2020 sputtered and ground to a halt at the beginning of November, 2021 was an excellent year for writing. I completed drafts of two short stories and over 30 poems, and am over halfway done with the pre-first draft of my NaNoWriMo book Racing the Flood Down to the Sea.

Friends and Family

This is where 2021 was the worst. I lost four friends this year, and in early September my mother, Sharon Prine, passed away just after her 84th birthday. Surprisingly, none of them died of COVID, which shows that even in the middle of this pandemic, the mundane world is still taking its toll.

So I will go into 2022 with holes in my life in the shape of Simon, Bill, Caroline, Beth, and Mom.

Work

I am still employed at the same company, and plan to remain here until I either retire or am made redundant. For most of the year I have been on one project, which in other years would become boring and unsatisfying, but for this year, predictability and stability are very much a good thing. And I am learning many new skills.

To Sum Up

I am glad that 2021 is over. Though I had some small personal triumphs and accomplishments, overall it was a year full of hellish stress, and though I am resigned to the fact that whatever is going on now is likely the New Normal, I am tired of reacting to the slings and arrows, or waiting for them to find another target. If I have a  goal or resolution for the new year it is to begin digging myself out of the deep funky hole I have been in for most of the past two years.